Thirty

I spent the entire morning shopping. I think the combination of a lack of food/caffeine after waking up, and a scary number of women who get surprisingly nimble when they spot a bargain could have been what caused me to hate everyone and everything in the entire shopping centre. I'm alright now because I got a nice coat, so with the benefit of hindsight it was probably worth it. Unfortunately, I didn't have the option of hindsight while I was there. I was just angry.

I should also point out the the 'Kurt' mentioned in the poem is Kurt Geiger, because obviously I am in the habit of referring to designers by their first name. And also (mainly) because, well, have you ever tried to rhyme the word 'Geiger' with something??




A shop is a horrible place
When everyone joins in the race
For last season's shirt
Or cheap shoes made by Kurt.
One day I'll rip off someone's face.




.

One

OK, so, limerick number one. I suddenly realise that writing 100 limericks means writing ONE HUNDRED of them. Oof.

But here goes:

So today is the day I start writing,
In the hope that it might be enlightning.
There'll be "no, not quite" rhymes,
And irregular times,
But my gosh won't it all be exciting?