Sixty Two

One of my friends keeps nagging me for a rude limerick. I'm not sure this is what she had in mind but it's what she's getting (Be more specific next time!).

Also the stars aren't there so much out of not wanting to offend people as out of the fact that I'm not sure those words fit properly. But this way, I say they do and you have no choice but to believe me. Ha!




To think limericks must be rude
Is really just bad atitude
F***, S***, W**** D***,
C***, C***-S****** P****
See? Without stars that would just be crude.




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Sixty One

I've been watching 'Heroes' tonight. I stopped watching it becaues it got rubbish but apparently it's gone back to being good and no one told me....

That's pretty irrelevant really, but any time I watch/read things about people with diffreent kinds of powers I start thinking about what ones I'd like to have. I never get far.



I'd like time to get everything done
Or invisibility, or a really fast run.
To be able to fly,
Or to learn things first try...
...Or the power to pick only one!

Sixty

I was watching Question Time last night. That, for a start is one thing I never do because I hate it - It just seems like a televised group of bickering people. However, for whatever reason, I was watching it last night and the best thing, probably EVER, happened.

There was a man a few seats down from some woman who was asking a question and, as he went to adjust his glasses, he managed to knock them off of his own face and onto the floor. Then he fidgeted around a lot trying to pick them up, realised it was pretty hopeless, and then remembered that there was a camera on him and pulled an 'oops' face.

There haven't been many times in my life when I laughed THAT much. Did anyone else see it? I hope I haven't just gone mad. But this limerick is for him!




On Qustion Time yesterday eve,
A man knocked his glasses with his sleeve.
They fell on the floor,
It made him feel sore,
Since the damn things he couldn't retrieve.




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Fifty Nine

I know it's supposed to be love week. Sadly someone on the tube this morning (I'd say she was about 15. She had a massive fur hat, a spongebob squarepants bag, a pink iphone and a very boring but loud conversation.) severely ticked me off.

So this limerick may be quite the opposite of 'love', but I did love writing it. ince she was right there when I did...




To the girl in the stupid fur hat:
Spongebob is not where it's at,
and iphones aren't cool
when you look like a fool,
And you're boring us all with your chat.





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Fifty Eight

I'll be honest. I'm knackered. I have been all day and I'm probably going to bed fairly soon which, considering it's 8:30 as I write this, may seem slightly pathetic. However, it's forced me to come up with a way of being lazy and still incorporating Love Week into this thing.

So, this is the only limerick (aside from one concerning a certain woman from Ealing that I think we've all heard...) that I've ever remembered. It's not by me but someone told me it a couple of years ago and I can still remember it. I think I could almost argue that I love it.

So, for love week. A limerick I love. (Although I have no idea who came up with it...)


There once was a man from Peru
Whose limerick stopped at line two.




(It's a lot more impressive to think that I remembered it if we ignore the fact that it's two lines long...)

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Fifty Seven

I'm still trying to do Love Week. I made a list of all the things I've said I love today. Just today. I'm always saying I love things, but I never pay attention to what I'm actually saying it about. Looking it over again, I suspect I may be giving it away too easily...





Lemon squash, and mini post-it notes,
My walkman, my shoes, Hamlet quotes.
Some vegetable soup,
A weird facebook group,
Cabaret, dusk, porridge oats.




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Fifty Six

Not sure what this is. I assume that if you write a love poem in limerick form you'd have a higher than average chance of getting knocked back so hey, why not write one assuming that's what's going to happen?




Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
No? Bloody fine. Go away?!
Look I know this is not
Quite hitting the spot
But I love you. Just wanted to say.




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